im in the state of mind where, I know what I want to do, but I don't do it, yet I do all the things I don't want to do(to a certain extent). I don't really know what my problem is... I love life, then I am not so stoke on myself at the same time. I am searchy as always, but so lazy at the same time. 

I miss my friend Diana so much, because she is a european traveler right now; thank God I am going to visit here in one month. My relationship with my besty friends Ash and Jake my bro are prime time right now and they get me through the day. I am needy when it comes to boys, and i'll leave it at that, on that subject. I would explain more, if I had the time and I didn't have to blow dry my stupid hair. 

my its been so long and i have been so lazy. 

i will leave you with one bit of information...I am going to David Bazan tonight. 

Feathers and Leathers

Leather Looks Good on the Legs

Feathers on the Fasion Front

Problems are Rising

The Janu tour is not quite working out as planned but I have faith that God is going to do what He pleases with our band, no matter what that entails. Many venues have replied that the day we are rollin into town is already booked. Disappointing and frustrating. We can not lose hope.

Instead, I turn to my friends and family to find peace. I went surfing with Alyssa yesterday and it was one of the most fun days I had in a long time. We started the morning off with two iced coffees and a bagel for two at this darling little cafe on PCH. We talked and shared life for a couple of hours and then it was off to the shores. It was me, Lyss, Pat, and two of his friends from the surf industry. The one boy Dain, was down right charming to look at. He had a sweet smile and bright blue eyes. Oh no, not another, I say. The water was warm and the sunshine was soft. We finished the day off with a bbq at the house and Brandon came over. Everyone was dancing around the kitchen with knives in hand. We had so much fun. I love the people in my life.

The sound of the stream was a lullaby, drawing me to its quiet bank and washing the strain from my mind. i planted a garden and got some potted flowers for the house. Never before had I worked with growing things. Living so simply was awakening in me a love for plants that I had never had before. The house was a refuge, built just for me, and I found a new strength arising deep within my heart.

Esther Ahn Kim
'If I Perish'

the beach is calling my name

Well, once again... it has been a while.

This past week has been pretty eventful and it is hanging over my head like a cloud that this blog has no record of anything that has gone on. Two Saturdays ago, I went out with some friends after work to the Salt Creek Grill. We all had so much fun listening to live music and hanging out by the fireplace outside. We decided to call it a night around 2 or 3. I spent the night at Ash's and the next morning the truth came out. I talked to my mom on the phone and told I was drinking the night before so I could not drive. Needless to say, the situation opened up really good conversation with my dad. We had a long talk about trust and what nots. The conversation ended with me putting it on paper with my signature, that said, 'I, Sarah Pappas, will not intake an alcoholic beverage until the day of my 21st birthday (not including Italy of course)'. It has been over a week now and I am going strong.

This past weekend we offered to watch Lyssa's dogs and so we slept over there both Saturday and Sunday night. They really are the cutest things in the world(when they are sleepy). Saturday night was really mellow because it was just me and Dustin and we watched 'I love you Man'. It was not uncomfortable, except for the fact that it stirred up weirdness between me and Brandon. The next day Sunday was one of the most fun days I had had in a long time. Work in the morning would have been hell if Jake and Ash didn't come in and save my life. Then I met up with Brandon and the 2 of us had coffee by the beach and sat and talked and laughed and learned. I feel good when I am with him. Then just the 2 of us turned into the 4 of us when we met up with Miles and Macy for a relaxing hang in the afternoon and Lyssa's. Dinner reservations were made for Brandon, Me, and Ash, and it was the best part of the night. We ate and Modo Mio, with Jake. When we were walking back to our cars we could stop telling each other how fun dinner was. (at dinner, brandon kinda felt like my boyfriend).

To much info all at once, I need to slow down and get some sun.

What's Hotter than the Weather?

Fiber.

Iced Americanos.

Throw your chai teas on the ground and pick up an iced americano with white mocha in it.

Stripes.

Cafes.

Find a local cafe with a quaint green patio and great food to have lunch.

HOt hoT

How about a 'hey' to the sunshine.

Since the Temps are soaring and it is showing no signs of summer coming to an end, Ive decided to embrace the sun and all its beauty.

I fell asleep by the pool today.

Where are you Fall?

It has been so long since my last post. I think alot has happened too. Where do I start? Do I want to start? Actually, not really. I am in a very weird place right now in Life.

I have been very busy planning a tour for Janu to go up the west coast and back down. We are scheduled to leave mid-October. I am so excited I can't explain it. Things are going pretty good with all of us band members, so it should be perfect.

I have yet to start planning anything for my Italy trip and I don't really know where to start. I read/skimmed through an entire 'Vatican City' book two nights ago when insomnia kept me up till 6:00 am. It got me very excited but I don't know how to start.

All I really want is for everything to get colder. Fall is late and I am not happy about that.

How cute are boys?

Refreshhhhing

Today started with tasks at dawn. I was a little farm girl this morning; waking up bright and early and started chores right away. I did all my laundry, hung all my clothes, did the dishes, clean my whole room, straightened the bathroom, and I figured out my licence tags. I was getting all my duties done around the house, because i then had plans to be out for the rest of the day. However, despite all the nonstop work this morning, I had a really good morning hang sesh with my dad. I have been missing him so much lately because we have not done our ritual coffee date in a long time. We had a good long catch up talk...refreshing.

I finally got out of the house and made my way to the beach to meet up with Dustin and Garrett. We went snorkeling and the water was to inviting with the perfect blend of sunny warmth. We then together had a mexican lunch that was pure satisfaction. Then a short mid afternoon lounge in Dustin's backyard followed lunch. I can't describe it besides...refreshing.

Gym. sucked.

Tonight was all about girls night! It was so fun. Me, Ash, Brenn, and Steph all went to Modo Mio for dinner. Conversation flowed as well as the fine food and drinks. We all caught up with one another's lives and laughed and shared all night long. Then Ash and I drove home together and we were right back to old times. We talked about deep things and I immediately was reminded of why she was my best friend. Best part too was, Matt was waiting for us at home! It was so good to see and laugh with him again...refreshing.

P.S. i like Boys.

Series of Unfortunate Events is playing in the next room as we speak...refreshing.

Booking

I woke up this morning and drove to Peet's with Jake to meet up with Bumper and Jared. We are collaboratively booking our first Janu tour. The plan is to start in San D-eggs and go all the up to Seattle and back down, in a fortnight. I felt like I was back in school, with the four of us on dueling laptops looking up venues and booking info and such. I got antsy, I'll tell you that right now!

Up from my Death Bed

I got home today from a very long weekend spent in I don't know where Arizona. We left around noon on friday and I was feeling very sick from a cold a felt creeping up on me the previous night. During the monotonous car ride there my sickness escalated oppose to decreasing; which was a nightmare mind you because the reason for Arizona being blessed by my presence was I was supposed to be singing all weekend. Janu got asked to lead worship at Howie's church for his Jr. High/High School Chi Alpha retreat. Well I powered through our first night singing at the church, then came Hell. We booked a local show in the area for us to play at after church called Martini Ranch. So we loaded all our equipment in the car, and at this point I am already passed out in the back seat. Well I didn't wake up till 15 minutes before we are supposed to go on. I get out of the car and I feel half dead. I manage to get on stage and we start our set with "Of Laws and Fables". I barely utters two or three words of the harmony with Jake and I stop. I whisper to him, "I can't sing". He tells me it's ok and tears rush to my eyes. I slid off stage and ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall to cry. I haven't cried that hard or uncontrollably in so long. I watched the rest of the show from the crowd and it was heart breaking to not be up there with them.

The next day started and didn't really get much different till about 5:00pm. I woke up around 9:00 am and brushed my teeth and then changed into the pajamas I should have put on the night before. Said my hellos and eat medicine for breakfast then went right back to bed. My whole day was a daze; falling in and out of sleep, catching just snippets of conversations. Well I finally got up and made it to the church to lead worship again. By the grace and power of God, I did it! We all went back to Howie's after and were hanging outside and talking, something I was very excited to do, since I missed out on everything that day. But maybe 10 minutes into us all hanging outside on the porch, I fell asleep.

Woke up the next morning, today, and miraculously lead worship again! It went really well, and I most definitely have a passion for singing in church, especially with those guys. The drive home was easy, long, but easy being with them. Now I am home and tomorrow starts a busy day of planning our first tour. Wisha me lucka.

Home

So I am back in the swing of things. I did lots of cleaning today, and organizing, and errands; including going to the bank. I even practiced the piano today!!

Hmmmm I don't know how I feel right now, a whole bunch of ehh. That's it.

I just want long hair again.

home sweet home

I got home yesterday around two o'clock in the afternoon, from my house boating trip. Everything about the entire week was perfect. I fell in love with everyone there; kids and adults. Jake and I made really good friends with the guy leaders Josh, Dustin, and Brandon. (I may potentially have a crush on two of them, if not all three!) I spent a good amount of time with them and it was always refreshing. My girls that a led on the boat were unbelievable. They made me laugh so hard it was stupid. I felt like I could tell them anything, and we could all be best friends.

Worship was intense and I was very nervous but it turned out to be one of the biggest blessings i could imagine. It was like a woke up everyday and God had surprises for me just waiting to be enjoyed. Every conversation I had, God was there. Every sunset I watched, God was there. Every song I sang, God was there.

One of my favorite part of the trip was this one late night after everyone was asleep, a couple of us leaders took two boats out for a night ride. It was the most relaxing, romantic, refreshing things I have done in so long. The water was so warm and the moon lit up the whole sky and made the lake sparkle. Plus we were listening to the best music and it set a mood like no other. I felt so free, and young, and in love with I didn't even know what.

It feels great to be home. We all celebrating today by doing yoga in the morning, then got a massage, and had a healthy lunch. I have never felt so relaxed in my life.

I love life and the moon.

make a boat my home

Long day today...10:00am-11:00pm. I started at the country club and I worked a Bar Mitzvah from 10-5 then went to Peppino's from 5-11. I was dog tired at Peppino's but I luckily walked out with a hundred bones. I was on a wild snack attack all night at pepps and my tummy is a bit in shambles.

I leave tomorrow at 6am to go on a week house boating trip with Mt. View Church and I have not even packed yet. I am just dreaded the pack sesh. I am excited for the trip though.

Go Green

I am the slightest bit envious of people who live their lives totally eco-friendly. I wish I had the determination. I'm still working on just being friendly.

Spring Clean

Today was a cleaning day and it started with my mind. I had a great wake up call from my dad inviting me to have a routine coffee date at Limelight Java, always. We had a nice time together besides the fact that it was really hot in the shop. But we moved outside and the breeze matched well with or joyous conversations. After he left I had a great time in the word and pouring my heart out to God on a small piece of paper. I do have to admit something... I am not nearly as sensitive as I used to be. I don't feel like a warrior, like I should be. I feel smaller than the measliest foot-soldier... not even. I am going to up my game for the Lord (i'll let you know how it goes).

I went to the gym, and filed paper work at Peppino's, and cleaned my room, and paid a parking ticket. Cleaning/Task day for sure. I specifically prayed for dedication today and i do feel it.

Janu wants to go on tour with the Smart Bros. and I am doing my best to work it out. I talked to Jay Smart today, which was a total answer to prayer. Now I just need him to call me back with answers of if we can come out or not. By the looks of it now, Janu will be touring solo up the west cost if you ask me. And I believe in us. Keep praying Sae Sae.

A breath of Fresh Air

Practice started off with a healthy meeting over coffee/tea at none other than yours truly, Peet's. We talked everything out about where we see oursleves going and what direction we want to take. As the time went on and conversation flew, we all became more and more inspired and excited about our band. I love all three of those boys so much I can't hardly explain it. God was moving through each and everyone of us and or ideas were bouncing around the table like wild. After practice we all, with the exemption of Bumper and addition of Ashley, went to a darling cafe in San Clemente. Conversation arose about how God is going to be moving through our band, and it was enlightening. Now I am going to go get my nails done with my favorite, my mom.

I listened to Travis on the way home and it was a breath of fresh air.

Practice

We are having practice today and I am a bit nervous to be honest, since I have not seen or talked to Bump or Jared in a really long time. I have been having nervous feelings about Janu, and I am going to contribute my hard/ill feelings about the band and its members on my poor relationship with God right now. I am not daily dipping into his power and grace and I am showing it.

I just want to go on tour in a bus.

Well instead of having a piano lesson yesterday, I went to a dueling piano bar last night. It was eh. On our way home, Ashley and I got Del Taco and it made me fel so sick this morning. I went to the beach with Alyssa and Pat and it was so nice. I have just felt like I am doing nothing with my life lately. This all needs to change.
I had weird dreams last night. I did not like them.

I love Ashley. She is the best girl to hang, talk, cry, laugh, do everything with.

Musica Fantastica

Today I am taking my first piano lesson, for the third time. Amanda Mcneill is coming over and we should have a great time with the intelligent musician Daniel Pappas. I am just excited to get back into studying music again. I want to take theory at school again too. I am going to look that up today. Theory 1 at Saddleback College, why not? I need to lay into the keys for the sake of the band too.

First Day

I have been thinking about making a blog all day today; I have no idea why. I just can't wait to journal online, so i can add pictures that set my emotions at the time, since i can't draw. So here we come, bloggy. I wish I had more to say on my first day, but I terribly want to take a bath.